I still remember vividly the day when I cried upon receiving a job transfer letter, shifting me from the Deputy for Child Growth and Development to the Secretary of the Ministry, specifically in the Cooperation Division of the Planning and Data Bureau.
Spending just over 2 years in the Deputy for Child Growth and Development made me feel close to the people there. It wasn’t just my fellow Ministry employees; the most important one was with the group of children and young people who were our partners. Being with them from one event to another, from meeting to meeting, from project to project made it difficult for me to leave. Part of it was because saying goodbye has never been easy for me; it always feels that way.
Long story short, in July 2020, right after completing my last assignment on National Children’s Day, I moved to the Cooperation Divison, specifically as a domestic cooperation sub-coordinator. Did I know what I would be doing in my new role? Yes and no, yes, I knew, but not in great detail. It was limited to facilitating MoU and Working Agreement, and I didn’t know much beyond that.
While learning to accept the reality that I was no longer working with the children’s group, I was also searching for the meaning behind my transfer. As a Civil Servant, we’re not accustomed to receiving explanations for our transfers. I mean, why did they move me to the cooperation team? What were the reasons? Did they feel I was capable enough there? Were there specific tasks I needed to perform? Unfortunately, those questions never found answers; I had to accept it. It’s said that as a Civil Servant, you have to accept placement wherever it is.
From that moment on, I started interacting with my new team in the cooperation division. It wasn’t too difficult because I already knew some of them. Some had been involved in the same project before, and some I had interacted casually a couple of times.
As a newly formed team, it was natural to have an initial meeting for personal introductions and an overview of the upcoming work. That inaugural meeting left a strong impression on me, even to this day. The atmosphere was far from the bureaucratic meetings I had experienced before. There were only four of us in the team, with a young team leader, which made the environment more relaxed and dialogic. I liked it, and I could imagine that this working environment would suit me better.
The good first impression got even better when I found out that they all were proficient in English, something that had always been a challenge for me. It’s not surprising since apart from domestic cooperation, our team also handles international cooperation.
While navigating these new days, I also tried to find answers to the questions about my transfer. From all the possibilities, I began to believe that there was one answer, from my perspective, behind this move – that I should start considering opportunities to continue my studies abroad. There were several reasons that convinced me:
1. The workload in the new place, although heavy, tended to have a more manageable pace. Previously, when I was in the deputy position, it was challenging for me to think about any other activities I could pursue. Going back to school seemed out of reach due to my exhausting daily routine.
2. The cooperation department served as an information gateway for opportunities for our employees to study or take courses abroad. I saw this as a sign to actively work on enhancing my capacity by taking advantage of these opportunities.
3. Exposure to foreign languages, especially intensive English. Even though we were placed in domestic cooperation, we were encouraged to support each other’s tasks. While most of the time I was a participant, it was enough to push me to relearn English skills.
4. Some of my colleagues on the team had received foreign scholarships, one of them being awardee of the prestigious scholarship: Fulbright. Conversations about studying abroad and scholarship searches began to dominate my daily conversations.
In the process, I was also greatly assisted by my best friend who continued to support me in pursuing my dreams. We discussed what steps I should take in my new workplace and whether I should follow my conviction to pursue higher education. In the end, I felt sure that I should start by improving my language skills. With my friend’s help, I was introduced to an English tutor who provided affordable online private English courses with flexible hours.
I remember my first meeting with that tutor. He asked me why I wanted to learn English, and for the first time, I confidently shared my new dream with someone else: “I want to study abroad.”
I believe it all started from that point.
Gubuk Musafir 